The Nonconfrontational App— When you’re trying to avoid calling someone, it automatically sends out the obligatory, seemingly genuine, text message: “Sorry I haven’t been able to call. Things have been nuts at work.”
The Levitra App—Increases the size of your iPhone by up to three inches. Note: If phone remains enlarged for longer than four hours, consult iPhone support.
The “Man Plunging To His Death” Ring Tone—Begins with a loud, dramatic Ahhhh!, then fades to an unpleasant Thunk!, followed by morbid silence.
The WOPR App—Transposes your voice to emulate the robotic speech pattern of the War Games’ super computer “Joshua.”
The Biological Clock App—[For women who wish to bear children] Ticks away the time that remains until your womb is barren of its fertile eggs. (Ominous warning signals when you’re within final hours of “drying up.”)
Horseshoes
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