Useful Information for Girls

(See my earlier post for the guy's version.)

What's In Your Pouch?

This is an authentic deerskin banana hammock that doubles as a swim pouch. (You know, to carry around a few small items you might need at the pool or beach--when you don't want to lug around a large tote.)

But this perplexes me. I'm not sure what sort of things you could actually keep in it. You certainly couldn't stash coins, because they would cause the pouch to grow heavy; not to mention, your pouch would make a "Cha-ching!" sound as you sashayed from your beach chair to the bar. Then again, the weight of the coins might make your pouch droop longer than the fringe, arousing much interest from your fellow beach dwellers.

Cash wouldn't work. If you decided to take a dip in the ocean, it would surely get wet. Plus, do you really want to dig around in your trunks to pay for a Mojito?

A tube of sunscreen definitely wouldn't fit. And if it did, you've got bigger problems than this dreaded piece of cloth.

Hmmm...maybe your driver's license, a key, aspirin, Chapstick or a condom? Yes, those things seem somewhat realistic. Always be prepared, I say.

But what's with the fringe? It makes me think of those beaded curtains that you go through as you enter a smoke shop or a $10 psychic's living room, er... "Spiritual Counseling Center." Maybe it serves to allude that something magical is hidden underneath. Or maybe it's just a nod to Urban Cowboy. Ahhh..such a good movie.

Regardless, if there was a party, and the invitation said, "B.Y.O.B.H." (Bring Your Own Banana Hammock), I have no doubt that this garment would be hit.

High School Makes SO Much More Sense To Me Now

Maybe all of those boys at Fort Zumwalt North High liked me after all, but I just had no clue. (And to think, I cursed my braces and stature.) Thanks, Girlology, for setting me straight.

I would like to make a "Boyology" version of this, if I can. Charts were never my forte, but I think I can swing this one. Stay tuned...